I am a lying bastard - the truth will come but not in the lifetime of THE LARDY ONE.

Oh yes - that was the guy that was going to write something - wasn't it.

Oh I remember him- he was the one that wrote a load of shit on the toilet wall - literally it read "A LOAD OF SHIT" and it was on the wall - of a toilet.

Keane - he drinks shit and talks Guinness - hhmmmmmmm !

I feel as if I have had the kick up the junta I warrant and deserve - aahhhh - you are too late - leprosy has taken away the dexterity of my fingers - oops now hands - opps there they go - aha - my stumps -

Well what about dictation - use your finger like everyone else - Ah - but I've told you - leprosy -

OK - now stop talking shite - aha - too late - already published in Fenchurch Street lavatories - 3rd edition most recent publication.

OK OK OK - I will do something - who was that - no fuuck off - who me - no you - look keane's just get it together and try to stop the curtain impressions and pull yourself together.